Directed by Danny Dones
Written by Danny Dones & Phillip Cordell
Low budget independent movies are where some very creative storytelling gets a chance to breath and sometimes thrive. Often the stakes are lower so the swings can be bigger, weirder, more off-the-wall. But when it comes to low budget independent genre movies, specifically science fiction, well buckle your seat belt, I think it can run the gambit. With such low budgets you either need to get really creative to pull off some of the scenarios and translate from the page to screen, or you’re in store for some really cheap and laughable production values. If the filmmakers are really savvy, they might even lean into these cheap production values for an intentional laugh or two. But more often than not, the audience ends up laughing at the film, not with it.
In Clone Cops, Kinder (Schyler Tillett) gets the opportunity of a lifetime to participate in his favorite show, Crimetime 360, which features cloned criminals (Quinnlan Ashe, Ted Welch, Allison Shrum and Laura Holloway) attempting to fight their way out of an onslaught of replicant security officers (Phillip Cordell). Controlled by a lab rat named Frank (Henry Haggard), the “clone cops” continue to fail to kill the criminals, creating an increasingly tense scenario with his boss. When the clone criminals find out they’re clones, their sentient reality shifts and Kinder joins in to try to help them win for the first time in show history.
The plot of this movie is not easily explained, but it does eventually come around in the final act to make sense, a small win in an otherwise very strange and zany 90 minute odyssey. With characters like Thongdaddy 420 (one of the hosts of the Crimetime 360 stream) and “One Tank” Frank, and the corporation behind these cops for hire being “Nefaricorp”, you can imagine that the screenplay is not the most creative thing ever conceived. But as far as scenarios go, it could be worse. This sci-fi romp at least features somewhat real world problems facing us today: evil mega companies, artificial intelligence, etc. But everything else it pretty much gets wrong.
Starting with the acting in the film, which is a painful ride. The majority of the ensemble are really going for it here, in particular Henry Haggard, Schyler Tillett and Ravi Patel as the CEO of Nefaricorp. But what gets really awkward is how heartfelt and serious the cast takes some of the moments. This dichotomy is really jarring and makes these moments unintentionally funny. In fact, they are some of the only laughs in the entire film, which promotes itself as a comedy but fails to garner any genuine laughs throughout the film.
This review has been harsh, and for good reason. Clone Cops is a movie that does not work, is not funny, and likely should be missed by the vast majority of moviegoers. However, there are elements here that can be applauded. For instance, filmmakers Danny Dones and Phillip Cordell are unafraid of going for it here, and while it ultimately doesn’t work, I can at least appreciate the swings they’re taking. And the design of the clone cop helmets is effective for the tone the film is looking to achieve, even if the rest of the elements fail to match it. So ultimately this is another example of the inability for a low budget sci-fi film to make the most of its budget and get creative enough to overcome it. But hey, at least they tried.
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